A piece of paper cannot determine my life

, Said a student of mine, rather confidently, and without a trace of arrogance or defence. “Our lives are ours, our deeds are ours, our efforts are ours, and they should be continuous, fulfilling, and holistically rewarding”, he continued, “so why are we herded on the basis of our marks or academic performances?” His candour struck me instantly, and made me proud to be his teacher almost immediately.

Having studied in an alternate school – spaces which respect and inculcate the realness of education in all its glory – has made every difference to me. From ushering in this enigma of learning, to awakening the desire to explore, question, think, and voice one’s opinions, learning today has incorporated the concept of education in us wholly. The irony is that our school was, and still is a minority in the complex weave that is education in India.

Goaded by unnatural grades (that will never be enough), academic excellence, unreasonably high expectations, coupled with the overwhelming burden that is a mainstream institutional life, students have become exactly what they aren’t supposed to be. “Learn as if you were to live forever,” as a popular quote goes, is far from what we’ve become today. Neither are we studying for a tomorrow beyond exams, nor are we learning for ourselves,” say students unanimously. If this wasn’t enough, we have predisposed children who unfortunately find their solace or answers in extreme measures such as addictions, depressions, social withdrawals, and a general sense of bio-psycho-socio under-development. “If student suicide rates aren’t telling, we wonder what is,” they add.

Let’s learn to learn for tomorrow, be assured in ourselves, have a sense of faith, remember that an exam is just one tomorrow, that we’re greater than the marks we get, and that we are therefore much more talented than a number that labels us as good, average, or a plain failure. In the midst of all this pressure and tension, let’s learn to take a break and unwind, to do the things we like to do, and practice being non-judgmental. If there was ever a more apt statement, it would be this by the glorious Albert Einstein which says:

It’s never too late to wake up, make a difference, and witness the blossoming of actualized human beings making this world a better place. And somewhere in this discussion with my students, my purpose as an academic had taken shape.

Here are few things you, an adult, who has assumed the role of nurturing a child’s well being, can do to help:

• Talk to the kids about discovering their vocation from an early age - this enables a sense of belonging and fulfilment in the child.
• Engage your children in conversation about their studies every day.
• As a parent, go out of your way to maintain a regular dialogue with the teachers about your kid, and vice versa - this helps both you and the teacher to stay updated about your child’s progress and to recognise any tell tale signs of stress.
• During exam periods, let the child know that getting good grades is not as important as learning.
• Understand your child’s aptitude and weaknesses, and inspire confidence in your child to overcome them by mixing games and difficult subjects, with a reward system. This helps the child to associate a subject he or she is weak at with a positive, as opposed to negative sentiment.

Every child is unique, and their perception of success is varied draws cues from us - it is our duty to give the right lessons, so that that being better versions of themselves, will involve a lot more than academic excellence!

This article has been authored by Babushka Chauhan. She is a teacher and a trained counselling psychologist by profession. She has worked with numerous students, young adults, and adults in finding a path towards living a more meaningful, fruitful, and successful life via the use of her counselling and life skills.