Being a mother, a friend, and so much more - #HappyMothersDay

Anjali Khosla was looking forward to having her second child, and she really wanted a baby girl. The first time she saw her baby, she thought the baby was perfect. Anisha was everything Anjali had hoped for. However, baby Anisha was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome. From that moment, till now, Anisha has been changing Anjali's life, and Anjali has been reveling in the unique bond she shares with her child.

As we celebrate Mother's Day to honour mothers, and cherish the mother-child bond that keeps us going, here's Anjali's story on being a mother to a very special child.

Being a Mother

Being a mother means a piece of my heart now lives outside of me.

Typically motherhood starts with the delusional notion of being the sole 'Creator and Controller'. As the journey progresses however, you soon realize this isn't just about you, there is somebody else, a whole new person, walking alongside you on this path. Once you understand the duality of the equation and start respecting your baby as an individual, you really start enjoying this journey.

Anisha and I learnt to match our steps - sometimes she walked a little faster to keep up, but mostly I slowed down; not because she couldn't keep up, but because in my effort to constantly stay focused on the destination, I was losing out on the joy of the journey.

When Anisha was learning how to walk, I learnt to take shorter steps and longer breaks. I celebrated the muscle tone of her legs grow stronger under my massage. I celebrated the cross pattern of her crawl as it emerged. I celebrated the first time she pulled herself into a standing position, and as for those first few independent steps she took. We're still walking, and I'm still celebrating.

Coping with being a mother to a child with special needs

When I first set my eyes on Anisha, she literally took my breath away. She was gorgeous. I had always wanted a baby girl, and there she was- A soft cotton ball with pink lips, a little pug nose and eyes that made her look like a direct descendent of the Dalai lama- Ten little fingers, ten little toes - She was just perfect! But, one diagnosis changed my perception.

Soft cotton ball was low muscle tone,
Pink lips were thin upper lip,
Pug nose was flat nasal bridge,
Dalai Lama's descendancy was upward slanting eyes,
And the ten little fingers and ten little toes were stubby with a simian crease and gaps that apparently weren't supposed to be there.

All I could see was a 'Syndrome' and a declaration of impending doom! The biggest challenge for me was the fear of the unknown.

I'm not sure how I would've put things in proper perspective, if it weren't for my husband. His love for his little girl, unquestioning and absolutely unconditional. Strong and yet so gentle. It was his advice that went on to become the mantra I now live my life by - “ Let's not ruin today by worrying about problems that may never even happen tomorrow. If and when there is a problem, we will deal with it- but until then, let's just enjoy our baby'

And since then, that's just what we've been doing.

A beautiful relationship

Once I'd processed the multiple emotions involved with the revelation of Anisha's diagnosis , I came through with a renewed sense of purpose. If I really was the one God had especially singled out to parent this child, I had a big responsibility at hand.

Me and my ego, we were ready to take on the world - I was going to be that 'incredible' parent- I was going to be her teacher and teach her to be all that I believed she could be.

It didn't take me too long to realize though that sometimes you teach, but more often… you learn. Anisha opened up a whole new world to me. Anisha taught me that we don't need magicians for magic - it happens in front of us all the time, every day.

Team work

Anisha and I - we are a pretty good team. I get credit every time she crosses a hurdle. Every achievement of hers wins me applause. She excels, I'm rewarded. She shines, and all the light falls on me.

She continues to take the strides and move forward, and I just keep going higher and higher on that pedestal. I'm not sure of how much I created – but my little Anisha, she created a whole new 'Super –Mom' me.

Message to all Mothers

Live for Today, Plan for Tomorrow and Dream – as in really 'Dare to Dream' for Day after.

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