I want a wife who has not been with other men. Yes I have had girlfriends before..so?

Sheer double standards. If virginity is a priority for you, you should practice before you preach. A woman should not be judged based on her past. You have to respect her and respect that she has chosen to spend her future with you, despite your past.

Why would you want to cook/wash clothes, you're a man!

Cooking/laundry is not a woman's 'job'. An independent person should learn to take care of himself/herself, irrespective of the gender. It's regressive to expect one gender to perform these duties, when the basic need of food and clothing is not restricted to one gender alone.

My dad doesn't do household chores, that's my mother's job!

Often we learn sexism as children. Both the man and woman should engage in household duties, particularly in front of their kids, so that they don't fall prey to sexist stereotypes.

She always hangs around with boys. She is 'THAT' kind of girl.

Perhaps every woman who has male friends has been subjected to this cheap perception. It's downright sick and ugly when you degrade a girl's character simply because she interacts with the opposite gender.

You're a woman - you cannot be loud. 'SIT' properly. You should be shy and demure - like a doll.

Women today need to be bold and assertive. Being shy and demure may be well-suited about a hundred years ago - today a woman also needs to be a go-getter. Being shy and demure should be a personal choice and not forced upon.

You're a woman! Don't be so aggressive. And if you talk too loudly, who will marry you?

Again, we cannot stifle women and force them to fit into pre-conceived stereotypes. When a woman marries a man, she accepts him for everything he is, so should a man. Being loud if she wants to make herself heard doesn't mean she won’t be supportive, loving or loyal in a marriage. If it wouldn't have been for their aggression, perhaps today we wouldn't have women like Mary Kom or Kiran Bedi.

It's not nice for a woman to laugh so loudly.

Why do we love to stifle every single detail about a woman? Why can't she express herself in front of people?

If she is a 'career' woman, she can't be a good 'bahu'/'mother'.

Having a 'career' doesn't make you any less of a mother, wife or daughter-in-law. In fact, you're financially more equipped to take care of your household needs. You also learn to deal with different kinds of situations in your profession, so let's leave behind such backward thoughts.

You're 30 years old? Shaadi ki umar nikal jaayegi. Why don't you get married and 'settle down'?

A woman's marriage should be her personal choice. Her marriage partner, the 'right' age to marry and such instances should be left up to her. We should trust her for making decisions that are important to her. It's her life, after all.

Boys don't get raped

According to recent Government study in 2007, about 52% boys and 47% girls were raped, proving that boys do get raped. Many men are guilty of raping boys: because rape is often about power than sex.

Don't act like a girl/don't be gay

This statement reveals not just our bias towards gender, but also our bias towards homosexuality. Our definition of 'masculinity' needs to be questioned. Does being masculine mean to never show emotions? Does it mean being overtly aggressive? Time to answer these questions.

Be a man! Act tough!

Why are our perceptions of masculinity so twisted? Does being a "man" mean being responsible, caring, supportive or does it mean having six-packs and showing off rugged and raw cockiness?

You  go out to 'pubs' at night. Ache ghar ki ladkiyan der raat tak ghar se baar nahin rehti. Good girls stay at home and cook/help family.

Just because a woman steps out to have a good time with her friends, doesn't mean she doesn't cook, or doesn't support her family. Why are we so judgemental of women? Is misogyny and control of women so deep-rooted in our community?

Ladkiyon jaise kyon rota hai? Stop crying like a girl.

Both men and women have feelings, be it joy, fear or pain. Contrary to popular belief, both men and women can express their emotions and are allowed to cry. And no, it's not "girly" to cry.

If u cannot beat up another guy, choodiyan pehen le haath main - start wearing bangles.

Being a man doesn't mean knowing how to beat other guys up. Often women can beat people up too - please see the latest news reports of women bashing up eve-teasers.

You wear shorts and go out? You're inviting rape.

Classic case of victim-blaming. Women get raped NOT because of their clothing, their behaviour or the time of the night. Women get raped because the rapist CHOSE to rape. Let's accuse the rapist instead.

Sexism is dangerous

It's time we confront the skeletons in the closet. Rape, sexual harassment and violence against women are a daily occurrence in India. These rapists and abusers come from our culture. They have learnt sexism and misogyny to a level that it has taken an ugly form in India today. Even family, social structure, law and politics often work against the survivor, rather than working for him/her.
It's time we keep a check on these age-old patriarchal 'values' and replace them to give way to a more fair, just and gender equal-society.

Are you Gender Sensitive? Play the Game and Find out Now!

Do you display sexist attitudes in your daily life or are you gender sensitive? Click on the game and play now to know your score on gender sensitivity.

Power Of 49 Manifesto

Before the elections started in 2014, Jaago Re launched a crowd-sourced 10-point manifesto about serious issues affecting women in India. We presented it to leading political parties and asked them to pay attention to our concerns.
Are they being followed through with sincerity by our leaders? Is India catching up with any of the points listed in the manifesto? See the manifesto for yourself here

Push the Pin

If you see instances of harassment against women, don't stay mute. Push the Pin here.

Share this story on

Social Feeds